I'm just a little cleavage monkey


Drawbacks of having a nurse for a mother

I was painting houses during the summer. Not too bad of a job except that I was the foreman, which meant twice as much bullshit for like an extra $.50 an hour.

Anyway, my buddy & I were finishing up a house. It had rained the night before and the ground was a little soft. I was standing on the top of a step ladder, well it really wasn't a step ladder, it was one of those folding ladders with these metal flanges that you pulled out to reposition the ladder.

Soft ground + fat ass precariously balanced = fall

And as I fell, my thighs slid down the sides of the ladder, catching the flanges (pointing up of course,) about 2 inches shy of (insert testicle euphemism here.)

Blood and lots of it.

My buddy drives me home and helps me out of the car. My mother takes one look at me and starts laughing. I'm not 3, but this still hurts my already bruised ego.

"I'm bleeding, mom! Can you help me?"

Stifling her laugh "It's just that it looks like you first menstruation"

I still managed to make the PIL/Depeche MODE concert that night, with a cane.